


the promise

by softblackvelvety



Category: The Cure (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cure, M/M, Male Slash, The Cure, mlm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:28:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29104830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softblackvelvety/pseuds/softblackvelvety
Summary: based on the cure song the promise, listen to the song while you read please unless you already know it.
Relationships: Simon Gallup/Robert Smith
Kudos: 4





	the promise

it was a dark album, and they were in the u.s. (away from mary) which did  _ not _ help robert’s mental state. to save money, the band was sharing a two bedroom apartment, and robert and simon were sharing a room, which made things so much worse. all robert knew anymore was pouring drinks down his throat and staring up at the ceiling in the dark while simon slept and breathed heavily next to him in bed. how did simon not remember? shouldn’t sleeping in the same bed remind him that he  _ promised _ him?

the only song he cared about from the album was  _ the promise _ because of the off-chance that simon would remember what he promised robert twenty years ago. the song was rolling in his head every moment of the day. it got quieter when he drank, so he drank a lot. to the point where everyday was black except for the exact moment he was in. currently, that moment was in the living room with perry and simon. 

they were playing but robert was not. he was getting burnt out with these songs when they recorded during the day and he never wanted to hear them again. the only reason he stayed in there was because he wasn’t ready for the room to spin when he stood up. “robert, wanna sing?” perry said excitedly. they were playing  _ taking off _ . it was the last thing he wanted to sing. “bugger off,” robert muttered and sloshed back some beer. he knew he was being miserable to be around but he didn’t know how to stop. perry stared at him a few seconds longer then went back to looking at the guitar neck. simon didn’t bother looking over, he’d known robert the longest and was used to his “moods”. if that’s what this was.

robert didn’t know what he did the rest of the night, but a few hours later he and simon were in bed. as usual, simon was asleep in just a few minutes, and robert was left to only the blackness and his thoughts and the sound of the man he loved breathing. it seemed as if he dozed off but woke up shortly after, though he couldn’t tell for sure since he never knew anything that happened in the moments before whatever he was experiencing right then. he got up and started pacing, then leaned on the window and looked out at the l.a. city lights. 

“hey.” robert startled and whipped around. “sorry,” simon said. they stared at each other in the pitch black. “what’s wrong?” “i can’t sleep,” robert said. “no shit, rob.  _ why  _ can’t you sleep?” he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, pulling hard so he’d feel some pain. “i’m just messed up, simon. this album is bringing up things i’d rather forget.” this was the most honest and open he’d been with anyone since they began recording. simon recognised that too, and robert knew he did because he didn’t respond. whispering, robert asked, “can we record  _ the promise _ tomorrow? are we ready?” “yeah, we should be ready.”

the next day they recorded  _ the promise _ . perry wasn’t completely ready with his parts, but robert was insistent. he knew perry would let the pressure get to him and would play it at least passably. in the studio robert wore his darkest sunglasses, so dark you could hardly see out of them. that was why he liked them, because it allowed him to forget it was in a studio. it felt like he was falling through blackness as he sang and that’s what would make for the best album. he didn’t know if he gave everything to his music, or if his music took everything from him. 

“choked back years of memories,” he sang, nearly choking on those words. “pushed down the pain, and i waited,” he sang and swallowed hard. “trying to forget...” and his eyes started stinging, “trying to forget,” and it was more intense than before... this hadn’t been the climax of the song when they practised it before, but it was becoming the climax now... “trying to forget!” he screamed, and one last time, “ _ trying to forget! _ ”. the intensity of his voice made his eyes leak uncontrollably, a purely physical reaction to the distress he was under. he waited those four long phrases to shout “you promised me another wish” and then “you promised me... another lie.” he looked right at simon, who was anticlimactically staring at the neck of his bass. it would have been nicer if this was the lightbulb moment for simon, but things never go like that in real life. he sat down on the grimy carpet.

he wanted to run out of the room, melt into the floor, scream into the sky, something other than let this black feeling overwhelm him. he took his sunglasses off and choked his sobs on his knee as he waited for his time to say the last lines. “and i waited... and i waited... and i waited... and i’m still waiting.” he looked right at simon with those lines, and since the bass part was over, simon looked at him. they looked right at each other as he said, “ _ and i’m still waiting _ .” it was the most intense feeling robert had ever experienced. he threw the microphone on the ground and ran out of the room into the hallway, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. he didn’t want simon to come out, but he would also be mad if he didn’t. he knew he would, though. and he did, after only maybe five seconds.

robert was in between hyperventilating and breathing heavily, trying to stay calm enough to not completely hyperventilate. simon wrapped an arm around his shoulders and it calmed him more than he knew was possible. “robert... what’s wrong? was it the song?” he nodded. “why did it make you do that? what’s it about?” robert looked right into those dark fucking brown eyes of his, luckily blurred by the tears still in his eyes. he seethed, “do you really not know?” simon drew back. he was scared of what his friend had become. “i’m not acting like this because i’m old, because i’m away from mary, because we’re in the u.s., because recording an album is stressful. i’ve been having a hard time even existing lately because i wrote an album at least half full of songs to try to remind you that  _ you _ promised me, years and years ago, that someday once we got our heads more on our shoulders we could be together. which was a lie. a fucking lie. and i  _ have _ been waiting, simon. we sleep in the same bloody bed every night and i send you signal after signal and you never see it. i’ve been miserable to be around because of that.”

they sat in silence with their shoulders pressed together. robert was done talking and simon was trying to decide what to say. “i-,” he started. “well-... i hardly remember that  _ because _ we were so far gone and that’s why we would wait. and i thought saying that was our way of coming to terms that it would never work without actually saying it. i’m sorry... i didn’t know you still thought of that... but it won’t work. we’re too old now, anyways.” robert bit his lip as hard as he could until he tasted blood mixed with salty tears.

“okay-” he choked on a voice crack. “i can’t believe it’s been so long and you never realised what i was singing about, and i never realised it would never happen.” robert cried and leaned into simon. he had never been so physically vulnerable with simon since they were together those twenty years ago. “do you feel better, robert? i mean, is that enough closure? i really didn’t think it was a big deal.” robert nodded and simon felt it since robert’s head was in his arms. “we have a great friendship.”

**Author's Note:**

> omg i hate this but i don’t feel like editing it. like i hate it SO much. it could be good if i tried but i just needed to write as an outlet, not to make it perfect. plus in a fandom as small as the cure you have to take everything you can get.


End file.
